Ask a Hedonist
Ask a Hedonist Podcast
#19: The popular relationship rule that's actually toxic
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#19: The popular relationship rule that's actually toxic

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Today I’m discussing a policy that is used as a safety blanket for couples dipping their toes into non-monogamy. This policy is usually born out of good intentions and deep-seated fears but it also says a lot about how we view love, threat, and the spectrum of human sexuality. It implies that love between women is somehow less real and less threatening. There's a tragedy in this quiet erasure.

I’m not judging anyone who creates rules and boundaries, as I had them myself in the early years of my relationships. Opening up can be terrifying. You’re standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing you need to jump to get to where you want to go, but your feet won't move. We set these boundaries, these rules, hoping they'll protect us from the fall. Instead we should embrace the fall. Ethical non-monogamy is not about setting limits, but about taking in all the risks and rewards of authentic human connection.

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Ask a Hedonist
Ask a Hedonist Podcast
Examining polyamory, food culture, and beauty standards from the lens of a Burmese New Yorker.